Insights from Rejection Proof. How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection by Jia Jiang. An encouraging and engaging story about conquering the fear of rejection, presenting a completely different viewpoint on how to convert a no into a yes.
FEAR OF REJECTION
Chinese immigrant Jia Jiang had high goals for his business in America, but he was constrained by his dread of being rejected. By starting a journey he named “100 days of rejection,” Jiang overcome his phobia.
Jiang denied his need for approval every day for a hundred days and began to ask weird people for strange things, such as asking a Krispy Kreme employee to make him an Olympic doughnut or knocking on a stranger’s house and asking a man if he could play soccer in his backyard.
He gained several important insights throughout his “100 days of rejection” that made rejection appear gradually harmless. If you and I absorb the principles in this book, we will be confident in our ability to request the position we desire, the pay raise we merit, the assistance we seek, the price reduction we desire, and the financial support we require in difficult times.
REJECTION IS AN OPINION
If I were to offer you what many people would argue is the world’s best mint ice cream, but you didn’t like the flavor, your rejection wouldn’t be personal; it would simply reflect your opinion.
Most rejections are similar in this respect. People refuse because of personal preferences and past experiences.
“A rejection tells more about the rejector than the rejectee,”
claims Jiang
Only seven out of 1,097 people stopped to listen to the Grammy-winning violinist Joshua Bell as he played the violin in a busy DC metro station while wearing jeans and a baseball cap. Bell frequently received standing ovations for his performances in famous concert venues like the John F. Kennedy Center, but he played to the wrong crowd at the wrong place at the wrong time in the DC metro station. The onlookers either didn’t appreciate musical ability, didn’t enjoy classical music, or didn’t have time to pause and listen to his music.
ASK “WHY” BEFORE GOODBYE
Rejection typically isn’t final if you ask, “why not?” in a friendly and inquisitive way.
Jiang was turned down when he asked a flight attendant on a Southwest trip if he could give the passengers the safety speech. Jiang asked amiably, “Ok, but may I ask why? “During the safety speech, all passengers are required to be seated, the flight attendant informed, according to airline policy. The flight attendant then considered another approach, asking Jiang if he would want to provide the “welcome speech” following the safety briefing. Jiang’s first request was much worse than the flight attendant’s counteroffer since it gave him the freedom to speak his mind and not stick to a script.
RETREAT, DON’T RUN AWAY
People frequently give hints when they explain why they can’t fulfill your request, which you might utilize to come up with a more reasonable request. Because they don’t want to appear rude, according to psychologist and Influence author Robert Cialdini, individuals are very open to minor second requests.
At 2:00 PM, two hours after the McDonald’s breakfast is over, Jiang asked a McDonald’s employee if he could have the McGriddle breakfast sandwich. The employee quickly replied, “No,” and when Jiang questioned why, the employee said that the equipment that cooked the eggs and sausages had already been cleaned. Jiang consequently questioned the McDonald’s employee about whether she could create something “like a McGriddle” without using an egg or sausage. The employee was intrigued by the unexpected request, so she came up with a replacement: a honey-roasted griddle cake with melted cheese on top.
“Instead of setting my goals on only the specific thing that I’d gone in asking for, I reassessed my original request and asked for something less… The clerk recognized my concession and met me halfway by offering a solution.”
– Jia Jiang
ALL REJECTION HAS UPSIDE
You can frequently ask “why not? “and back off to a more modest request, still coming up empty. But fear not—a direct rejection can be advantageous in a number of ways:
- Your rejection immunity increases with each rejection. Rejection lessens its impact when you know your self-worth remains unharmed and you still have chances in front of you. When you can accept rejection, you usually speak with more assurance, friendliness, and openness. Jiang says, “When I was confident, friendly, and open, people seemed more inclined to go along with my request; even if they said no, they at least stayed engaged longer to ask questions.”
- A rejection can make you more motivated because you want to disprove the person who rejected you. Michael Jordan is known for pushing himself harder in the gym and spending more time on the court after being rejected by his high school’s varsity basketball team. For him, that went pretty well.
- The result of rejection is enlightenment. When you stand back from rejection and strip out the emotion, you will probably uncover methods to improve your request and raise your chances of receiving what you want. As Thomas Edison once stated, “I have not failed 10,000 times I’ve successfully identified 10,000 ways that will not work.”
“But by not even asking, we are rejecting ourselves by default—and probably missing out on opportunity as a result.”
‐ Jia Jiang
REJECTION PROOF: demonstrates that no “No” lasts forever and demonstrates how rejection therapy may help you embrace new challenges, shift your perspective on fear, and hear the word “Yes” more frequently than ever.
Author: The Pinoy Engineer
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