Insights from The Power of Regret by Daniel Pink
Any Filipino older than six who has not damaged their orbitofrontal cortex experiences regret. Maaaring hindi natin gusto ang pakiramdam ng regret and try to ignore it, but regret is universal!
NORMALIZE AND NEUTRALIZE REGRET
Sa halip na hayaang ubusin ng regret ang ating mga iniisip, impede our actions, and destroy our happiness, maari nating tanggapin that everyone makes stupid mistakes they regret. Knowing regret is part of the shared human experience ay nagbibigay-daan sa atin to normalize and neutralize the shameful feeling of regret.
Once we normalize and contain the emotion of regret, magagamit natin ang regret to craft a redemption story. Research shows na ang mga taong nagmumuni-muni upon redemption narratives are happier, more accomplished, and find more meaning in life. Regrets are the perfect starting point for a new redemption story. Halimbawa, if you regret smoking and not taking care of your health when you were young, mayroon ka na ngayong magandang pagkakataon to transform your health and become a marathoner. Taking redemptive action by performing a generous act to outweigh a selfish act, a thoughtful act to outweigh a careless act, and hard work to offset prior laziness can be a character‐defining moment.
But many regrets ay parang tattoos, maaari mong alisin ang mga ito sa pamamagitan ng pagsusumikap, but a mark often remains…ngunit iyon ay isang magandang bagay! Gamitin ang regret residue as motivation to anticipate future regret and build a life you’ll be proud of.
ANTICIPATE FUTURE REGRET
Nagsagawa si Author Daniel Pink ng iang World Regret Survey and gathered 16,000 regrets from people mula sa 105 countries. Nalaman ni Pink that all human regret fall into four categories: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets.
Foundation regrets: If only I’d done the work.
For example: “If only I’d drank less and maintained a disciplined diet, I wouldn’t have so many health problems today.” Or “If only I’d worked hard in my twenties, I wouldn’t be in this dead‐end job today.”
Boldness regrets: If only I’d taken that risk.
For example: “If only I’d asked that girl out.” Or “If only I’d started that business.”
“If foundation regrets arise from the failure to plan ahead, work hard, follow through, and build a stable platform for life, boldness regrets…arise from the failure to take full advantage of that platform—to use it as a springboard into a richer life.”
‐ Daniel Pink
Moral regrets: If only I’d done the right thing.
For example: “I wish I hadn’t bullied that kid in school.” Or “I wish I’d been faithful to my wife.”
Connection regrets: If only I’d reached out.
“If only I’d reached out to my friend before she died of cancer.” Or “If only I’d apologized to my son and mended our relationship sooner.”
THE WEEKLY REGRET TEMPLATE
Ngayong alam mo na ang apat na universal regrets, try to anticipate how your future‐self (living seven days in the future) might complete the following sentences:
Foundation Regrets (neglecting your health, professional growth, or finances):
- I wish I’d taken care of my health this week by…
- I wish I’d advanced my career this week by…
- I wish I’d increased my savings this week by…
Boldness Regrets (too afraid to take emotional and social risks):
- I wish I’d tried…
- I wish I’d started…
- I wish I’d asked…
Moral Regrets (not doing the right thing in difficult situations):
- I wish I’d remained loyal to…
- I wish I’d been kinder to…
- I wish I’d stood up for…
Connection Regrets (letting key relationships drift):
- I wish I’d reached out to…
- I wish I’d forgiven…
Magset up ng isang recurring email para sa iyong sarili every Sunday or Monday morning with the regret template shown above and ponder how you might complete each sentence if you just had a really bad week. Anticipating weekly regrets allows you to create a better week than you otherwise would have at maiwasan ang maliliit na regrets from turning into big regrets, like divorce, bankruptcy, or diabetes.
Author: The Pinoy Engineer
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